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Assessment checklist

Coherence and Cohesion Yes/ No Example
Ideas are logically organised yes 1: overview
2: women (from young to old)
3: men (from young to old)
4: overview
Writing is organised into paragraphs. yes There is a space between each paragraph.
Each paragraph has one main topic. yes Each paragraph has one main topic (see previous box).
Uses a range of cohesive devices:
  • reference
  • substitution
  • linking words
yes
yes
yes		 They (women 55 to 64 years old)
Their (men's)
it (women's social contact)
ones
did so
these oldest groups
the percentage of whom
this (97 per cent)
In general
however
after that
Starting the paragraphs with 'first' (women) and 'second' (men) is not good. There isn't actually any sequence to the data: men and women are doing things at the same time.

Overall, the coherence and cohesion of this Task 1 response are good.

The chart below shows the number of people who had recently contacted family or friends.

The table shows six age groups of adults and the percentage of whom had recently contacted family and friends. In general, women did so more than men, although it varies from age.

First, the persentage of women from 18-34 who had contact was 96 per cent then it decreased gradually until 95 per cent for females 35-44 years old. Then it rose steady up to 55 to 64 years old.They had contact 97 per cent and this was the peak of women who contacted family and friends. After that, the number of women who did so decreased slightly to 95 per cent for the 75 or over group.
Second, the picture for men was quite similar. Their peak number was 96 per cent. This was in 55-64 years old group. The lowest percentage, however, was for ages 65 to 74 and 75 and over. In these oldest groups, only 93 per cent contacted family and friends recently.
To sum up, the number of female contacts was more than male ones. The trend, however, was similar for both sexes.
- Activity 3 .14

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