Practice activity 7.4: Presenting a clear position
As well as having relevant ideas, which are developed and supported, you need to make sure
that your essay has a clear position. Here is another typical Task 2 question:
It is a common belief that people in developed countries spend too much money
on their pets, and that the money could better be used elsewhere.
What are your views?
Here is an answer that a candidate has written to this question. What's wrong with it?
In wealthy countries such as the US, families often spend large amounts of money on their
pets, whether for medical care, food, toys or just grooming. Some people believe it is wrong
to spend so much money on animals, while others have no problem with this.
Those who are against spending such amounts of money on pets argue that it is wasteful
and frivolous. They point to the millions starving in poor nations, who could be fed with the
money used to buy designer pet goods. It seems both ridiculous and cruel for citizens of
developed nations to spend so much money on their pets when so many around the world
are suffering. The priority of humans. they argue, should be human welfare.
On the other hand, many people believe that spending money on pets is harmless.
particularly when compared to other areas of spending. They feel it is better to spend
money on a living creature than on clothes or expensive cars. Many individuals and families
love their pets like children and feel a similar need to take care of them or even to spoil
them. Moreover, and perhaps most importantly, it is their own money and they should be
able to choose how to dispose of it.
In summary, a large number of people feel it is wrong that so much money be spent on
domestic pets when there is so much human suffering in the world. Others, however, argue
that it is up to each individual how they want to spend their money.
(256 words)
In many ways, this is a very well-written essay. The ideas are relevant, and they have
been developed and supported. However, there is one serious problem, which will stop this
candidate getting the highest possible score: it doesn't have a clear position. The examiner
wants to know whether you agree or disagree. It is fine to present both sides of an issue, but
in the conclusion you have to make it clear where you stand. Here is a better conclusion for
this essay:
In summary, although it is true that the amount of money spent on pets in rich countries
may sometimes seem extreme, I believe it is ultimately up to the individual what they
choose to do with their income, and surely overindulging a beloved pet is not the worst
choice that one could make.
This conclusion makes it clear where the candidate stands on the issue: that they think
people do not spend too much money on their pets.
TIP Generally you should give your opinion in the introduction to your essay.
Essays where you discuss both sides of an issue are an exception to this
convention.
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